Mentoring: About Meaning Making, Assessing, and Building a Flexible Response

My coaching and counseling training was based in Systems Theory. This means that I am trained to look at the whole context of a situation rather than one event, person or behavior. My expert level understanding of human behavior and motivations has also been expanded by my study of traditional thought and philosophy.

Specifically, my training focuses in Family Systems Theory, using narrative therapy and the family-of-origin therapies as models for my work. So, my mentoring work, while designed to help you access your own inner wisdom, will take you through a framework for understanding the context you grew up in, and how that context is still be affecting your beliefs. We’ll look at not only your family-of-origin, but also your culture, ethnic, socio-economic and spiritual context as well, to understand the beliefs that you learned.

As an adult, you will have already let go of many of the beliefs and behaviors you learned as a child. Sometimes a challenge occurs because it’s time for another belief or behavior from long ago is ready to be let go or shifted. And sometimes the understanding of the context allows for a gentle acceptance of what is.

My style of mentoring includes teaching moments where I might explain a concept or model so that you can use it for yourself. Mostly though, I ask questions, make observations and help you make the connections that will help you anchor down into your inner wisdom and build a clear and repeatable decision making process.

Often though, we all have behaviors that don’t really serve even our highest purpose. We are human and so fallible. Part of my job is to gently hold up a mirror and support you as you learn to manage yourself better, as you mature. We will never be perfect, but we are perfectly designed with all of our talents and flaws for the exact purpose that stirs us at a deep level. The challenges we meet along the way are also perfectly designed to help us along the maturing process.

Our intentional participation in this learning is, of course, voluntary. This choice to participate in the life we have been given is THE most powerful choice we can make. The rest is about taking what comes (including our own proclivities and emotions) and using it all as information to help us manage ourselves and navigate our life.

This maturing and growth process is called differentiation in the psycho-therapeutic world. It is a core process in any systems-theory based change process.

I believe our ability to gain perspective on our experiences, including our emotional reactions, is key to developing the flexibility necessary for resilience.

Are you ready to build this sort of resilience, or develop a more sustainable foundation for your daily life?

Here is how we can WORK TOGETHER.

Return to MY METHOD page.

*I’m not a licensed mental health practitioner, however, so please know that my work is not a replacement for qualified medical care when a mental health situation arises.